okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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