You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I AM VODKA MAN
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
