Jerry, you need to find god
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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