Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.

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(302): View more from Delaware

I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.

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(706): View more from Georgia

I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.

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(408): View more from California

My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.

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(205): View more from Alabama

She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.

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(574): View more from Indiana

When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE

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(251): View more from Alabama

Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn

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