We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
