new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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