he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
