oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
