he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
