he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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