so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
