As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
