eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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