I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize