"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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