My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
