Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
