is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Randomize
