there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
