do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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