I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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