What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
