the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
