Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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