I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
