there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
