she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
