I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
