dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
