I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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