Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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