U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
