Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If I die, sorry about rent.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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