NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
