Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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