david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
