She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
