Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
