he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
