So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
