just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
