every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The air was thick with penises
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
