Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
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