I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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