I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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