Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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