I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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