We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
