I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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