worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
