Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
