clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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