whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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