I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Will exercising make me less horny?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
