Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
