if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize