Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
