where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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