she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
