after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
