thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
