We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
