She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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