GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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