Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
